Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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