If i come over, it means nothing
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
