I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
