He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We don't watch enough power rangers
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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