At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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