Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm always down for nudity.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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