Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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