You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
