why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
