Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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