I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
3 2 1 whiskey
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
