Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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