I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize