This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
