Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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