Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize