I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
These tits shall not be calmed
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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