Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
