No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
