Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
