Porn is love you can see.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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