ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
