Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I smell like Dick and happiness
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
