I could have mohawked her pubes.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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