I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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