I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize