just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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