halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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