Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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