Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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