if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
