i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
