hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
