Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize