the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
