I must be too annoying 4 u.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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