you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
