I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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