a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
