dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
