i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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