Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
