get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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