Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
