Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
