why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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