When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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