I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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