I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
