I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
This baby is an asshole
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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