You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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