I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
