She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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