dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I would fuck him just for his dog
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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