apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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