i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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