omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize