Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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