just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
