lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
