so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just cropdusted the office
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
