I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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