so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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