walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
she looked like the before picture.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
