That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
